Most of us watch have watched and regularly do watch porn whether you’re male or female, a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or a Republican (In which case you’re probably just sending obscene messages to your Senate pages.) Even if we don’t want to admit it, it’s part of our society.
What some don’t realize while watching said porn, is that there is an actual person behind the make up, revealing clothes and the acts they are preforming. Acts that are considered “x-rated” (which ironically are perfectly natural in our bedrooms behind closed doors.) Within the last six or so months I’ve had the privilege of being invited into the world of Misti Dawn. Misti works for Burning Angel (A little bit different type of porn site. Most of the women on the site are of what is now deemed a “alt model.” Tattoos, piercings, hair color are standard practice for both the males and females. Burning Angel has become the punk rock MySpace of porn, allowing users to create profiles and interact with the girls and each other in forms.) as one of the site’s more well known talents and also has been modeling for over five years.
The 5″2 twenty-three year old red head is by no means an intimidating presence. In talking to me, Misti seemed like any other college age girl (just a bit more tattoos.) There is a child-like quality that you immediately notice talking to her. It’s the vain of a kid showing a new friend their room for the first time, and waiting for a response. Her timidness shatters after a little bit, and the true self proclaimed “dork” comes out.
“I love comic books, Marvel and DC. I read whatever I can get my hands on, but I really dig Spider-Man.” Misti herself resembles Peter Parker’s love Mary Jane Watson a bit as well, when I mentioned it, she laughed “Yeah, I’ve been that for years now!” On top of the comic books, she is an avid gamer, spending time on X-Box live blasting pre-teens under the game tag MeowMistiDawn as well as big fan of horror movies. When she’s not goofing off online or with friends, Misti is a straight A student at her college in Indiana studying Biology, recently opting to make the move to a school in California to finish her education.
What is seen on screen and off are two completely different people. I sat down with Misti to watch her scene in Burning Angel’s Girls Girls Girls 2, a 1980s themed porn, complete with teased hair and neon clothing. The experience was a all together new one for me. I sat nervously as the “plot” unfolded, Misti pulling Alexis Texas from a sliding glass door which she got her rear stuck in Winnie the Pooh style. Then like any movie of it’s kind the action came.
“It’s not at all what you think of it as. Everyone assumes it’s, ‘okay just go at it’, but that’s not at all the case. There are multiple people in the room, lighting, staging and doing your hair and make up and helping you out with clothing.” When asked about the actual acts, “Think of it as the most non-sexual sex ever. There is nothing really sexy about stopping and starting when Joanna says. When it’s over, you shower off like any other person coming home from work, and you resume your normal life.”
We had conversations at length about life outside of the industry, and how it’s affected her. At times, she confesses it’s not easy. The constant travel and promotion of herself and the site keeps her away quite often from her family. Misti has an extremely close relationship to her Grandmother. Her face lights up stating “she’s my world!”
When asked if it conflicts with her family and upbringing in the Mormon church; “I don’t see a problem with it [porn] everyone has sex, it’s something everyone does. I’m no different than any other girl, except that I get paid to act and have sex on camera. That’s my choice.” Misti, like other Burning Angel actresses resent the stereotype that most women in porn all come from abusive homes, or have daddy-issues. “I wasn’t abused or neglected, this is what I wanted to do, so I did it,” Misti states firmly.
People ask Misti a lot about her profession, something she doesn’t like discussing to strangers. “The amount of people I get that just want to talk about sex is unbelievable in the first conversation no matter where they meet me,” Misti said frustrated. “It’s like, what the hell you know? Is it that hard just to be nice and respectful, perhaps it’s just my southern up bringing creeping out.”
The very same night, Misti was filling out an interview for a publication online. When I asked her how the questions were she laughed; “Lame, it’s always the same thing over and over. ‘How many people have you had sex with? What’s your favorite position? When is the first time you had sex.’ I feel like just saying, read above interview, don’t get me wrong I’m flattered people want to interview me, but I’m sure someone wants the information that hasn’t been asked before”
Over the course of our conversations I began to realize something fundamentally simple about Misti; that she was just like any average woman her age. A variety of interests, musical tastes, and quirks. Misti loves to bake. I caught her via instant message one afternoon baking a cake for her Grandmother’s birthday. Sending the picture of it proudly through the internet. On Twitter, Misti shares her eating adventures via pictures, and often complains of “tummy aches” post sugar binge.
There is a serious side to Misti as well, she keeps extremely busy marketing herself as well as her new website which will be debuting in the fall. “What people don’t get is that I don’t just sit around, you have to keep on top of everything in this business or else you’ll be forgotten in a minute, and everyone will move on to the next thing.” When asked if she’s excited about the big move to her own site, her response was cautious. “I’m excited, but it’s still a lot of work.”
Work it is, Misti’s schedule is chaotic. Interviews, conventions like Erotic LA, and feature dances like the one she’ll be doing with Draven Star and boss Joanna Angel in Ft. Myers in two weeks after just coming back from shooting in California.”I love working with Joanna she makes everyone always feel so comfortable with what’s going on. There is never any pressure to do something you don’t want to do. She’s just sweetheart.”
After the scene is all said and done, everyone spends time cracking jokes, eating food, and generally doing what friends do. When asked about Misti, Burning Angel Draven Star said “Misti is the biggest sweetie you’ll ever meet.” Phoenix Askani, a new-comer whose already gaining popularity on the site said, “She’s a doll, I love Misti.”
“What I’d like to say is that I’m just like everyone else. I get shy, I get nervous, I have friends and a life outside this.” Misti’s statement is more than correct. I felt a pang of guilt for my gender’s behavior at strip clubs, and towards the women in that industry. The reality is, like any actress, singer, model, or porn actress, there is a person behind the persona.
When proposing this story to friends and colleagues, I got a barrage of negative and sometimes outright rude sentiments. Everything from “so how is she in bed?” to “how could you sit down with someone who does that for a living?” The reactions disappointed me coming from a world of media devoted to celebrities “accidentally” exposing their genitalia, “leaked” sex tapes of celebrities which sky rocket them into instant popularity and public exposure. There are sexual exploits on “reality” television shows, violent acts on prime time television every day which are mass marketed to an entire 13-16 demographic.
It seems nearly insane to condemn Misti as immoral. How could anyone not like a straight A student, whose got a love for animals and treats everyone as an equal? Who didn’t get pregnant at eighteen years old, get married out of wedlock with no employment like a certain former Governor of Alaska’s daughter. Who didn’t post herself up as a kid’s channel role model, only to get pregnant at 16. Who would judge her when all of this is going on in the world?
The church in which she’d attended since childhood. A church which has excommunicated Dawn siting her current career as the basis. Misti stated, “Even though I am a naturalist, it does kind of hurt to have a group of people you never spoke ill of totally reject you completely biased when members with in the church do far worse.”
In a world of Bernie Madoffs, Dick Cheneys, and Paris Hilton’s regardless of career choice, Misti is a much more sutible candidate for the morality award. Someone while I was writing this piece asked me; “Would you want your daugther doing what she does?” The answer to that question is a simple one; If she turned into as quality a human being as Misti Dawn, then absolutely.
Thank you for writing an article which shows respect for a young woman who has chosen to own her sexuality and do what she pleases with it. This is a woman who doesn’t necisarily define herself BY her sexuality, but has no qualms with the fact that she can openly show her enjoyment of sex. Sexuality is something that permeates our everyday life and culture, but there still remain many stigmas on women to not be as open as men in illustrating our liberal sexual nature.
She knows she’s more than just a “porn star”, and I believe that she has more of a unique draw because of that.
I understand that other young women, like myself, do not need to nessisarily own their sexuality the same way as Misti has chosen to. Even so, I find her openess and honesty to be quite liberating. When will we stop being being catagorized as “virgins” or “whores”, and start being regarded as strong willed women that can do whatever the f*ck we want with our bodies and minds?
Thoroughly enjoyed the article. Thank you for writing such a great piece.
Excellent read. I wish more men would realize that women can do whatever and not be labeled. She seems like an awesome girl with her head on better than straight, and I hope I have the honor of meeting her someday. Keep it up Misti =)
Great article!! I’m one of Misti’s many followers on Twitter. You really showed that she is real person. And as the saying goes don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
I’m really honored to have had this article written about me, I’m really proud of the way I was portrayed as well, I feel like its the REAL me. Hopefully Justin can open many more people’s eyes that you can be a real girl and be empowered by your sexuality and not be labeled. I enjoy my job very much.
Thank you everyone for reading it.
Muchos Gracias for your blog.Really thank you! Great.
So Sexy